Thursday, 12 November 2009

The Banned List #2

An occasional series of things that should be banned in creative writing...

1. Body parts. Don't state the obvious. "She opened the door with her small, delicate hands." "Using his eyes, he peeped into the box." "Hair fell in a luxurious brown cascade from her head." Well, where else would it fall from? I'd be far more interested if it cascaded from her chin.

2. Don't write a dull story about dull characters using dull dialogue, dull description and dull language and then try to pass it off as Searing Comment on Apathy in Society.

3. Don't mix your metaphors. "The wind bit at his ankles like a small, hungry rodent. He felt like he'd been slapped in face with a wet fish."

4. Never rely on spell check. "She smelled his colon as soon as she walked into the room." "He was a seaman-soaked hanky in the landfill of Society." (That'll be the apathetic Society, no doubt).