Sunday 21 February 2010

Being Bad

Why does being bad feel so good?

At school being bad at hockey was liberating. (I once let in a goal because I was chatting to a defender about how much I hated the games teacher, but the goal was disallowed because it "had been hit from too far away" - ie. the opposite goal post). Being bad at maths meant I could torment the maths teacher. ("I'm sorry, Sir, but I just don't believe in negative numbers.")

Being bad at filing awarded me great satisfaction in a Commercial Estate Agents. I doubt whether they ever found the details for 76, Hillcrest Rise. Ha!

Occasionally - children, please note the occasionally - going to bed without brushing my teeth feels O! so rebellious.

Bad language - swearing. What can possibly be bad about swearing when it's so bloody satisfying?

Misusing apostrophes deliberately - to annoy the pedantic old crows amongst your friends - blissful.

Creating fake personas on social networking and blogging sites - not that I'd ever do anything quite as bad as that, you understand - must be too, too delicious ...

I realise that I am only scraping the surface of Badness. I must try harder; affairs, bank heists, forgeries of Great Works of Art, graffiti (witty, of course), fiddling my expenses.

But of course, the ideal career beckons ...

5 comments:

  1. You're so bad, you're good! (I always get those two mixed up!)

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  2. Writing bad poetry and having friends praise it.
    Subversively bad.

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  3. Also pretending to be able to speak Welsh - annoys the Bardic Nation deeply. (And my mother).

    Bwygg Parddwn, I llyk ywr swte ynormslllwy, Mwystrr Savant.

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  4. You can steal and pillage and lie and swear all you like, but the apostrophe thing is really, really BAD.

    Love, Pedantic Old Crow

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  5. I only misuse apostrophe's on Monday's and Friday's. And on other peoples birthday's. And sometime's when the weathers dry.

    (Psst! D'you think old Chaucer chap was really wrytyng in Welsh?)

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