Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Hacked Off

To Whom it May Concern ~

In my defence, none of this - any of it - was my fault because I was on holiday at the time.

I think that you will find this to be a water-tight defence.

Sack the solicitor, lay off the lawyer,* and banish the barrister.

I was on holiday is defence enough for murder, mayhem or - ahem - ever so illegal phone-hacking. In fact, the only phone-hacking I know anything at all about is the percussion section of the Bonzo Dog Doodah Band, track two, featuring phone-hacking, tub-thumping, and gooseberry-jamming. All of which I listened to whilst I was on holiday.

Yours sincerely/wish you were here etc. etc.


* This item of Political Birdfeed is sponsored by the Oxford Comma.


  1. Did you know, Rupert was the name Dennis Potter gave to his pancreatic tumour?

  2. Your cleverness has been missed, Moptop.

  3. That's right up there with: 'The dog ate it' ... or 'My daughter did it for a school project!' (Not mentioning any swan/horses! ..... oops, there I've gone and mentioned it.)