Hacked Off

To Whom it May Concern ~

In my defence, none of this - any of it - was my fault because I was on holiday at the time.

I think that you will find this to be a water-tight defence.

Sack the solicitor, lay off the lawyer,* and banish the barrister.

I was on holiday is defence enough for murder, mayhem or - ahem - ever so illegal phone-hacking. In fact, the only phone-hacking I know anything at all about is the percussion section of the Bonzo Dog Doodah Band, track two, featuring phone-hacking, tub-thumping, and gooseberry-jamming. All of which I listened to whilst I was on holiday.

Yours sincerely/wish you were here etc. etc.

RB

* This item of Political Birdfeed is sponsored by the Oxford Comma.