It's been a funny old week. To summarise, I've learned
- to play indoor bowls (as in the game rather than impromptu musical instruments)
- that when bowling wearing an above-the-knee skirt, it is always wise to refuse to let elderly gentlemen stand behind one
- that beginning a conversation with "It wasn't me who threw the testicles and vagina into the conversational hat" will make one laugh like a drain for days
- that an-almost-certainly-deranged-man-masquerading-as-a-woman thinks that heaven is some sort of slimming club for those of a Catholic disposition (..."I also believe that Catholics will be weighed on different scales...")
- that if one loans a handkerchief to a strange man who is weeping during Toy Story 3, it is best not to ask for it back
- that beginning a swish poetry event with a rendition of Poppy Tupper's limerick about Jeremy Hunt will not meet with universal approval
- and that buying second-hand books in Oxfam is far more exciting than buying books from Amazon or Waterstones.
Correspondant en Chef pour la France
DU YORKSHIRE POST
Directeur Général Adjoint á vie
DE L'AGENCE REUTER (LONDRES)
Correspondant en France
DE BATON BROADCASTING LIMITED (TORONTO)
presents h8s (sic) compliments to Lord Boyle
and hopes he will enjoy the book.
Paris Nov. 1973 3, rue du Sentier, 75002 Paris
This is diverting on all sorts of levels, not least because the suggestion that the Yorkshire Post ever had an International Correspondent is - frankly - unbelievable.
When I lived in Yorkshire, there could have been a political coup at Westminster, an earthquake in Cornwall, and Prince Charles's secret life as a cross-dresser who molests animals revealed all on the same day and the Yorkshire Post headline would have been
PENSIONER JOSTLED AT CROSSING IN HORSFORTH
That aside, Archie and I are getting on great guns. We have rather a lot in common (not least the dreadful habit of procrastination):
Naething worth daein' is ever dune in a hurry, sae the Author sat doon, and walked aboot, chew'd his nails, thocht an' thocht, and repeated owre to himsel', o'fen and of'en - "Archie M'Nab, are you a man worthy o' this privledge, this honour, this high office? Hae you got the penitration, the intuitive insicht, and the delicacy required to perform this michty task? Hae you got the geenus that'll keep ye frae being rideeklus, when yet fankel'd up in the warp an' waft o' sic an intricate and complex fabrication as a woman is? Great writer and a' as ye are, hae you the courage to attack sic a kittley subject?"
If you think you may also have an affinity with Archie, click here. And if you've ever found anything interesting inside a book, please comment in the, erm, Comments.