"Under New Labour, we were constantly wrong-footed in terms of headline material," said a spokesman. "One day it was bigots, the next Balls. It was hard to keep up."
The institution of a 'one headline fits all' policy has found favour with typesetters, sub-editors, journalists and readers alike.
"It's been a God-send," the spokesman continued. "Cabinet Ministers have the phrase 'burden on society' as a permanent fixture. All we have to do is change the category of burden. It's basically delete as appropriate - the stories are a piece of piss to write."
Recent Burdens on Society include:
Students
The Uneducated
The Elderly
Teenagers
The Poor
The Unemployed
Public Servants
The Sick
The Disabled
Asylum Seekers
The Welsh
Scots
Yorkshire
A spokesman for NewsCorp denied that the organisation planned to add to the ranks of the unemployed by running a "journalists are a burden on newspapers" story.
Posts
These are strange days indeed. I feel a re-run of the 80s is imminent.
ReplyDeleteI sense a theme.
ReplyDeleteHonore Daumier! Long time no see.
ReplyDeleteMore than one headline is a burden on society. Fact.
ReplyDeletep.s Would you believe me if I said my word verification was: burden?
@ Martin - yes, a distinct sense of déjà vu ...
ReplyDelete@ Fran - it's a technique of 'softening us up'. Allegedly.
@ Michael - "The Burden" - beautiful, eh?
@ Bébé - NO!