Talks between the Conservative and the Liberal Democrat Parties have resulted in an historic settlement.
"We are pleased to announce that we will be working together," said William Vague, the one with the deepest and most serious voice. "The Liberal Democrats have accepted our unbelievably sincere offer of three Government positions and we look forward to future Cabinet meetings."
Mick Clegg said, "Both the Conservative Party and I want what's best for the Country. It is in my, I mean, our interest to work together. I am delighted to accept the post of Head of Paperclips."
Vince (Legs) Grable, the new Cabinet Minister for Teaspoons said, "I feel strangely stirred by this moment. We have made history. Oi! I've counted them so put that back."
Charles Kennedy, newly-appointed (Drinks) Cabinet Secretary said, "David's also put me in charge of desks and bookshelves and understair cupboards. Therefore, I am still more important than Mick Cleggover which is all that really matters."