Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Overheard Conversation #19

Queen: So you're - ?
Aide (WHISPERS): The new Prime Minister.
Queen: Is he?
Aide (WHISPERS): Yes, Ma'am.
Queen: He's awfully pink. (LOUDLY) Wear a hat, young man, and avoid direct sunlight.
Cameron: Yes, Ma'am.
Queen: One bought ones wallpaper from your grandfather's shop. Excellent quality.
Cameron: With the greatest respect, Ma'am, I believe you're referring to George.
Queen: George?
Cameron: Osborne. He's the new Chancellor.
Queen: Chancellor?
Aide (WHISPERS): The Country's banker.
Queen: I hope he's washed his hands. So you can't give one a good deal on Lincrusta? The morning room is looking a little tired.
Cameron: I'll see what I can do, Ma'am.
Queen: Well, Mr. Clegg, one is awfully pleased that you're the Prime Minister. One wasn't terribly keen on that Cameron chap.
Aide (WHISPERS): Ma'am -
Queen: His mouth's far too small. Shifty eyes.
Queen: And his wife's in Trade, you know.
Aide (SHOUTS): Ma'am!
Queen: Will you please stop interrupting - Mr. Clegg, one would be most pleased if you could sort out the fox-hunting. Philip's been dreadfully restless since that silly Mr. Blair banned it.
Cameron: I'll add it to the list, Ma'am.
Queen (MUSING): When one heard there was a Hung Parliament, ones heart leapt.
Cameron: It did, Ma'am?
Queen: For one glorious moment one thought horrid Dennis Skinner had finally been suspended. Literally.
Aide: Ma'am -
Queen: The man's a menace. Each time one opens Parliament, he's chancing his arm as a comedian - you're not funny, are you Mr. Clegg?
Cameron: Frankly, I'm  Dav-
Queen: Yes, well first name terms will suffice, Frankly, but you'll still need to call one Your Royal Highness.
Aide (WHISPERS): Eastenders in five minutes.
Queen: Off you trot, Mr. Clegg, and try not to break anything.

Roll credits


  1. Still think Her Madge looks like a dead fish on the river bank. And who thought that blue was a good idea?

  2. This was really funny. You have the dialogue down to a tee. (Whatever that means? Is it a golfing reference?)

  3. @ Fran - ask Inky!

    @ Michael - the whole of England's gone blue ...

  4. This was great, Moptop!! Very funny, and just as I imagine HRH who is, after all, just an ordinary person like you and me.

  5. You just can’t let the Hung Parliament term go can you? Is it terribly wise? The more people who laugh at the size of the cabinet’s ‘policies’ the more they will compensate with overly aggressive hand gesturing in speeches, which I’m not entirely sure isn’t a subconscious form of threat meant to show us who’s boss.

    Having said that I laughed/snorted so much at this I've hurt the back of my throat. :-)

  6. @ Chris - according to one BBC journalist, it is a 'seriously hung parliament' which is a phrase that made my eyes water.