Thursday, 10 June 2010

One Headline Fits All

The Association of Newspaper Editors today gave their seal of approval to the Con-Dem Coalition Government.

"Under New Labour, we were constantly wrong-footed in terms of headline material," said a spokesman. "One day it was bigots, the next Balls. It was hard to keep up."

The institution of a 'one headline fits all' policy has found favour with typesetters, sub-editors, journalists and readers alike.

"It's been a God-send," the spokesman continued. "Cabinet Ministers have the phrase 'burden on society' as a permanent fixture. All we have to do is change the category of burden. It's basically delete as appropriate - the stories are a piece of piss to write."

Recent Burdens on Society include:

The Uneducated
The Elderly
The Poor
The Unemployed
Public Servants
The Sick
The Disabled
Asylum Seekers
The Welsh

A spokesman for NewsCorp denied that the organisation planned to add to the ranks of the unemployed by running a "journalists are a burden on newspapers" story.


  1. These are strange days indeed. I feel a re-run of the 80s is imminent.

  2. Honore Daumier! Long time no see.

  3. More than one headline is a burden on society. Fact.

    p.s Would you believe me if I said my word verification was: burden?

  4. @ Martin - yes, a distinct sense of déjà vu ...

    @ Fran - it's a technique of 'softening us up'. Allegedly.

    @ Michael - "The Burden" - beautiful, eh?

    @ Bébé - NO!