Overheard Conversations #5

Location: Cafe bar. Late afternoon. Interior.

Characters: Two women in their 30s sit at a table chatting.

Brunette: I wasn't going to tell you this...

Blonde: I can guess.

Brunette: I called round to see -

Blonde (TRIUMPHANT): Rick.

Brunette: Yes.

Blonde: Rick the Prick

Brunette: Ha-ha.

Blonde: Why?

Brunette: I wanted a damn good seeing to.

Blonde: And?

Brunette: He had a headache.

Blonde: Rick never has headaches.

Brunette: I know. (BEAT). That's why I'm depressed.

Blonde: Buy a rabbit. (BEAT). Not the furry kind.

Brunette: Got one. (BEAT). Sometimes y'fancy the real thing, y'know?

Blonde (SIGHS): Yup. (BEAT). Women like sex more than men.

Brunette: Y'think?

Blonde: For all those jokes about electric blankets and flannel nighties.

Brunette: You could be right. (BEAT). I've never had a headache.

Blonde: Not even with -?

Brunette: No. (LAUGHS). He just made me physically sick.

Blonde: Ewww!

Brunette: Not at the time. But now - the thought!

Blonde: Don't. (SHUDDERS).

Brunette: Cheer me up. Tell me about Spanker.

Blonde: No! I'm not doing all my yesterdays.

Brunette: About Honey Boy.

Blonde: No!

Brunette (PERSUASIVELY): About Darren...

Blonde (ROLLS HER EYES): Okay. Because Rick's been a dick.

Brunette: You're a mate.

Blonde: He was going back to Portsmouth.

Brunette: And?

Blonde: I got on the train at Lime Street to kiss him goodbye -

Brunette: And?

Blonde: The carriage was empty.

Brunette: And?

Blonde: We had a cuddle.

Brunette: And?

Blonde: I gave him a blow job -

Blonde: Did you go all the way?

Brunette: No, only to Runcorn -

Blonde & Brunette (TOGETHER): Then I got the train back!

THEY BOTH LAUGH.

Brunette: Sod coffee. I need a drink.

Blonde: Gin?

Brunette: Only if it's a stiff one.

ROLL CREDITS