Overheard Conversations #8

Location: Bus. Interior. Day.
Characters: One woman, of pensionable age. One man in his 20s.

Woman: That makes a change.
Man: What does?
Woman: A green bus with people on it.
Man: Where?
Woman: Just passed us.
Man: Oh.
Woman: They never have people on them.
Man: No?
Woman: Not normally. (BEAT). I can't see the point of green buses.
Man: No?
Woman: No-one's ever on them.
Man: Mmm.
Woman: Always empty.
Man: Mmm.
Woman: Mam wouldn't have anything green in the house.
Man: Cabbage?
Woman: It wasn't green for long.
Man: Eh?
Woman: She boiled everything for hours. Cabbage, socks, vests. Me dad's teeth.
PAUSE.
Woman (OUTRAGED): Did you see that mattress?
Man: Where?
Woman: Just passed it. Dumped in the alley by the lights.
Man: Oh.
Woman: Disgusting.
Man: Mmm.
Woman: Some people!
PAUSE.
Woman: Town was busy.
Man: Hmm.
Woman: Friday's always busy.
Man: Mmm.
Woman: I don't know where people get the money.
Man: Hmm.
Woman: Spending for the sake of spending.
Man: Mmm.
Woman: That top in TJs? £9.99. I could make it for that!
Man: Someone did, Nan.
PAUSE.
Woman: Did you see last night's Echo?
Man: No.
Woman: Front page. Lad from Brookside's opening a swingers' club.
Man: What?
Woman: Shame I'm so old.
Man: Nan!
Woman: I loved to swing.
Man: Swing?
Woman: Legs everywhere.
Man: Are you -?
Woman: I'd be shattered the next day.
Man: Shattered?
Woman: There were a couple of regulars. Me and Sylvia fought over them.
Man: Nan -
Woman: There was George. He knew how to hold a lady. Firm but gentle. Always in control.
Man: I don't think -
Woman: Larry was - well, he was nice enough, but a bit heavy-handed. I'd be black and blue after a few goes with him.
Man: Goes?
Woman: We never stopped from the moment we took our coats off. I'd come home dripping.
Man: I really don't think -
Woman: I met your grandad there.
Man: Grandad?
Woman: A right charmer. He had me bent over backwards! (BEAT). I blamed him for my hip.
Man: I don't think -
Woman: Of course he said my hip had nothing to do with it. But then he would.
PAUSE.
Man: Can we talk about green buses again?

Roll credits.