Voyage Round My Father's Head #3

Father: I'm phoning to see if you'd like to join us for lunch?
Daughter: Are you in the car?

Father: About 1 o'clock.

Daughter: You shouldn't use your phone when you're driving.

Father: I thought we'd eat in Wilmslow.

Daughter: I'm in bed.

Father: Still?

Daughter: I had an operation then had 'flu, remember?

Father: That was last week.

Daughter: And I'm not allowed to drive for two weeks.

Father: You take after your mother. I'm never ill. (BEAT) So you're not coming for lunch?

Daughter: Not this time.

Father: I've been to Fleetwood today.

Daughter: Why?

Father: I'll just pass you onto someone.

Daughter: I'm -

Father: You haven't spoken to her for thirty years!
Daughter: Maybe another time. (BEAT). Dad?

SOUND OF PHONE BEING DROPPED THEN PICKED UP AGAIN.

Daughter: Hello?

Woman (VERY WELL-SPOKEN): Hello? Hello, is that Claire?

Daughter (SLOWLY): Yes...?

Woman: It's Vee, darling!

Daughter: Vee?

Woman: Vee Bentham.

Daughter: Vee...

Woman: Your father's very kindly taking me to the airport. I'm flying back to London.

Daughter: Auntie Vivi!

Woman : No-one's called me that for years, sweetie. Now then, when did I last see you?

Daughter: Er, 1979...?

Woman: Of course! Then you moved back north.

Daughter: Yes. Gosh, Vee...

Woman (BRISKLY): You know I can't picture you at all.

Daughter: Oh?

Woman: Turn left here, darling. Your father says you were the bossy one.

Daughter: I was the eldest.

Woman: There were two of you?

Daughter: Three. Two boys and a girl.

Woman: And which were you?

Daughter: Er...

Woman: Apparently you were very plump.

Father (SHOUTING): She ate so many biscuits I told her she'd pop!

Daughter: I was tall. I had long, brown hair.

Woman: No, it's not coming to me. It's just down here, sweetie.

Daughter (EAGER): I have a very strong memory of you though.

Woman: Have you, darling?

Daughter (ENTHUSIASTICALLY): Yes, it was when you were taking Lucy back to boarding school.

Woman: Yes?

Daughter: You took me in the car for company on the way back. You had Radio 3 on -

Woman: It's gone off a bit, Radio 3.

Daughter: I was in the front seat. We ate barley sugars and talked about all sorts of things. I felt so grown up. It was very dark, all these windy roads with high hedges -

Woman: Oh, yes! The school was in Devon. Dreadful place.

Daughter: Suddenly there was a badger caught in the car's headlights. It's the only time I've ever seen a badger. I wrote a poem about it.

Woman: A badger!

Daughter: It's a very vivid memory.

Woman: How funny! (BEAT). I have no recollection of that at all.

Daughter (SHOCKED): Oh.

Woman (BREEZILY): Amazing! There we are, moving through life making tremendous impressions on other people. People we don't even remember! How funny!

Daughter: Yes.

Woman: I'll pass you back to your father. It was lovely speaking to you, Catherine.

SOUND OF PHONE BEING PASSED BACK

Father: A blast from the past, hey?

Daughter: Yes.

Father: Shame you can't join us for lunch.

Daughter: Yes -

Father: More material for the book!

Daughter: Dad? (BEAT). Dad?

SOUND OF POLICE SIREN AND PHONE BEING DROPPED.