I have never...

...danced the tango in the Russian Tearooms

with a slim-hipped man in snakeskin shoes.

Duffed up a ruffian,

Juggled more than two balls,

Slept in a cave with damp, mossy walls.

Petrified a lover,

Raced a grey stallion,

Wrestled a pirate for a chest of gold bullion.

Cut class,

Measured up,

Mended invisibly,

Gone missing in action or been lost at sea.

Brokered peace with large spiders,

Spoken French with conviction,

Parsed Latin with mastery,

Understood much of anything.

Crashed a car,

Crashed a party,

Trusted electricity,

Dodged jail with a nail file, a mirror & string.

Nurtured a houseplant,

Heard a bird's heartbeat,

Swum through the branches of underwater trees -

Never said I love you frivolously.