Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Overheard Conversations #3

Location: Ward in Women's Hospital. Interior. Afternoon.
Maureen: 58, nicely cut auburn hair, neat figure, pink pyjamas.
Bill: shaved head, white goatee beard, creased linen shirt, large-bellied.
Bill sits in chair next to the bed that Maureen lies in. She is propped up by pillows and has various drips feeding into her arm.

Bill: So what've you had done then?
Maureen: Hysterectomy.
Bill: Is that like a vasectomy?
Maureen: Nothing like.
Bill: It comes down to the same thing, doesn't it?
Maureen: What?
Bill: No kids.
Maureen: That'd be having my tubes tied.
Bill: What tubes? You never told me you had tubes!
Maureen (SIGHS): Did you feed the dog?
Bill: Yes, I fed the dog.
Maureen: Is he missing me?
Bill: I'm missing you.
Maureen: You can take care of yourself. It's the dog I'm worried about.
Bill: Thanks.
Maureen: Did you take her round to Sue's? I don't like her sitting in by herself.
Bill: Sue's always sat in by herself. It's never bothered her before.
Maureen: The dog, Bill. The dog.
Bill: Will you stop going on about the dog. I've been worried.
Maureen: That's a new one. You've never been worried before.
Bill: How long you in for?
Maureen: They'll let me out Monday. (BEAT). I lost a lot of blood.
Bill (PULLS FACE): Keep the medical stuff vague, love. You know what I'm like.
Maureen: Yes.
Bill: So, Monday, you say?
Maureen: Yes. And then I'm to rest for three months.
Bill: Three months?
Maureen: I'm not even allowed to lift the kettle.
Bill: How you going to make my tea, then? (HURRIEDLY). JOKE, Maureen, that was a joke.
Maureen: There's stewing steak in the freezer.
Bill: Three months' worth?
Maureen: For the dog. He doesn't like tinned.
Bill: Neither do I. (BEAT). Do you need anything bringing in?
Maureen: Sue said she'll pop in tomorrow. I'll text her.
Bill: A book? A magazine? Grapes?
Maureen: Give me heartburn.
Bill: Yes. (BEAT). You look tired.
Maureen: I've had half my insides taken out.
Bill: You'll fit into your tight trousers.(BEAT). Just looking on the bright side, Mo.
Maureen: You'd better go. They're strict on visiting.
Bill (RISING FROM CHAIR): I'll see you tomorrow then?
Maureen: Yes.
Bill (MOVING TOWARDS DOOR): The dog does miss you.
Maureen: I know, love. I know.

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