Overheard Conversations #3

Location: Ward in Women's Hospital. Interior. Afternoon.

Characters

Maureen: 58, nicely cut auburn hair, neat figure, pink pyjamas.

Bill: shaved head, white goatee beard, creased linen shirt, large-bellied.

Bill sits in chair next to the bed that Maureen lies in. She is propped up by pillows and has various drips feeding into her arm.

Bill: So what've you had done then?

Maureen: Hysterectomy.

Bill: Is that like a vasectomy?

Maureen: Nothing like.

Bill: It comes down to the same thing, doesn't it?

Maureen: What?

Bill: No kids.

Maureen: That'd be having my tubes tied.

Bill: What tubes? You never told me you had tubes!

Maureen (SIGHS): Did you feed the dog?

Bill: Yes, I fed the dog.

Maureen: Is he missing me?

Bill: I'm missing you.

Maureen: You can take care of yourself. It's the dog I'm worried about.

Bill: Thanks.

(BEAT)

Maureen: Did you take her round to Sue's? I don't like her sitting in by herself.

Bill: Sue's always sat in by herself. It's never bothered her before.

Maureen: The dog, Bill. The dog.

Bill: Will you stop going on about the dog. I've been worried.

Maureen: That's a new one. You've never been worried before.

(BEAT).

Bill: How long you in for?

Maureen: They'll let me out Monday. (BEAT). I lost a lot of blood.

Bill (PULLS FACE): Keep the medical stuff vague, love. You know what I'm like.

Maureen: Yes.

(BEAT).

Bill: So, Monday, you say?

Maureen: Yes. And then I'm to rest for three months.

Bill: Three months?

Maureen: I'm not even allowed to lift the kettle.

Bill: How you going to make my tea, then? (HURRIEDLY). JOKE, Maureen, that was a joke.

Maureen: There's stewing steak in the freezer.

Bill: Three months' worth?

Maureen: For the dog. He doesn't like tinned.

Bill: Neither do I. (BEAT). Do you need anything bringing in?

Maureen: Sue said she'll pop in tomorrow. I'll text her.

Bill: A book? A magazine? Grapes?

Maureen: Give me heartburn.

Bill: Yes. (BEAT). You look tired.

Maureen: I've had half my insides taken out.

Bill: You'll fit into your tight trousers.(BEAT). Just looking on the bright side, Mo.

Maureen: You'd better go. They're strict on visiting.

Bill (RISING FROM CHAIR): I'll see you tomorrow then?

Maureen: Yes.

Bill (MOVING TOWARDS DOOR): The dog does miss you.

Maureen: I know, love. I know.