Location: Call centre (The future is bright, the future is -)Characters: Customer Assistant - Keeley. Customer - John
Keeley: Hello, thank you for waiting. My name's Keeley, how can I help you?
John: Oh. Right. I want to check when me contract runs out.
Keeley: First I'll have to ask you a few security questions.
John: Right.
Keeley: Your full name?
John: John Lewis.
Keeley: Like the shop?
John: Yup.
Keeley: I expect people say that all the time?
John: They do.
Keeley: Okay ... And what's the password on your account?
John: Daisy.
Keeley: Let's just check that. (BEAT.) No. Sorry, Mr Lewis, that's not the right password.
John: Jane?
Keeley: Try again.
John: Susie?
Keeley: No ...
John: Betty?
Keeley: No, not that one either.
John: Milly?
Keeley: No, sorry.
John: Lily?
Keeley: I'm afraid not ...
John: Right, Daisy, Jane, Susie, Betty, Milly, Lily ... JUDY? Yes, it's Judy.
Keeley (VERY APOLOGETIC): No, I'm really sorry, Mr Lewis ...
John: I know! I used Wife's name. Maureen.
Keeley (VERY RELIEVED): Yes! That's it.
John: Maureen.
Keeley (BRIGHTLY): Well, you certainly know a lot of ladies, Mr Lewis.
John: Them were me cows.
Posts
I guess a farmer from Yorkshire, would've seen that one coming, but I didn't.
ReplyDeleteLaughed my head off!
Hilarious. Especially the sudden switch to non-standard grammar. Priceless.
ReplyDeletePlus the very witty misspelling of the title to your post .... Ho ho.
ReplyDeleteThat was great....
ReplyDelete