Uptalk, upspeak, a.k.a. turning perfectly reasonable and definite statements into questions by letting your voice rise quizzically at the end of the sentence.
Yes, like that.
It has been blamed on the Australians. It has been blamed on the New Zealanders. It has been blamed on the Valley Girls of 1980s California. And, apparently, the citizens of Bristol and East Anglia are not entirely blameless either. I don't care who started it, but I'd like it to stop.
Picture the scene. A tanned, thin, youngish man, sun-streaked fair hair. He's dressed in cut-off denim shorts, flip-flops and appears to be holding a human skull.
"To be? Or not to be? That is the question?
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer?
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune?
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles?
Sea? Did someone mention sea?"
He drops the skull and runs athletically across the sand. He reaches the lip of the ocean, dives in and saves a young woman (who is sporting what looks like an ikebana flower arrangement in her hair and who was at the point of drowning). You can guess the rest.
Or this one. A portly, balding man wearing a boiler suit, the trousers rolled up to reveal blue-white ankles (finely turned). A knotted handkerchief is perched upon his bonce. He is slumped in a striped deckchair, puffing on a cigar.
"We shall fight on the beaches?
We shall fight in the landing grounds?
We shall fight in the fields and on the streets?
We shall fight in the hills?
We shall never surrender?
I think I need to lie down ..."
The whole course of history would have changed if the High Rising Terminal had been around then.
You will all agree that I have clearly and concisely proved my point?