Farter Duck
Savage Crangle Chambers
Chancery Lane
London
Dear Ms Moptop
I have had occasion to write to you before on matters of a similar nature. Tappertit and Rudge, my Clerks of Chamber, limped down to the Stacks and dusted off our previous correspondence. And a fine, heavy file it makes. Not to put too fine a point on it, Madam, you appear to delight in causing mischief.
Only today, it was brought to my attention that you have published the confidential minutes of the Liberal-Fascist Collective Against the BBC (L-FCABBC).
Members of the Collective are extremely unhappy about this situation and have instructed me to - shall we say? - fire a warning shot across your bows.
I am sure that you will appreciate that being both Liberal and Fascist is a challenging position to be in, not least because of the dangers of inadvertantly slipping into Reactionary.
The members of the L-FCABBC face a difficult task; united in their desire to see the British Broadcasting Company (BBC) dismantled, the Television Licence Fee abolished as well as ensuring that optimum conditions are created for Cats Do The Funniest Things to be shown nightly on the major T.V. channels during peak viewing hours.
To then discover that you have published confidential minutes could have turned them Libertarian! Have you considered just how irresponsible you have been? You, Madam, do not have the excuse of youthful folly.
It simply will not do.
Take this as an informal - if not entirely friendly - warning. If you persist, further action will be taken by the L-FCABBC subcommittee: The Wirral Alliance of Televisual Sceptics.
Yours sincerely
Peter Farter Duck
It is best not to mess with the duck
P.S. Mr Wright, a fellow Fellow in Law, insists that I inform you that Points of View did reply to him and noted the contents of his email.
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'I am sure that you will appreciate that being both Liberal and Fascist is a challenging position to be in, not least because of the dangers of inadvertantly slipping into Reactionary.'
ReplyDeleteYou didn't really need to be reminded of what you wrote, but I think such cleverness is worth repeating. I might run out of complimentary adjectives (not that cleverness was one, I know that much) for your posts, Moptop. If I lapse into 'love it, love it' you'll understand why.
Thank you kindly, fair maid.
ReplyDeleteThe BBC gets accused of being Left Wing by the Right and Right Wing by the Left - which makes me think they're doing something right, I mean, left, I mean - what do I mean?
Someone?
Anyone?
I'm just catching up with the blogs I missed, and wondering what to do with the dead duck I found in the garden upon my return, so I am taking your P.S. (It is best not to mess with the duck) as a message from God. Thankyou
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