Monday 5 April 2010

Overheard Conversation #16


Location: Living room, extravagantly upholstered. Ornaments, lots of 'em. Potted plants and vases of spring flowers.

Characters: Annie, 83. Liza, 40ish. Both are drinking tea.

Annie (LEANING BACK IN HER ARMCHAIR): Right, now Easter's over, I'm on the minge.
Liza (SPLUTTERS): Pardon?
Annie: I'm on the minge.
Liza: I'm not sure what you mean, Annie ...?
Annie: I'm not spending another penny. I'm being mingy. Haven't you heard that expression?
Liza: Yes, but, er, minge isn't the same as mingy.
Annie: Of course it is.
Liza: No, it really isn't.
Annie: Well, what's a minge when it's at home?
Liza (VERY EMBARRASSED): Umm, well, you're, er, sitting on it.
Annie: An armchair?
Liza: No, it's, ummm, more physical.
Annie (THINKS BRIEFLY): A bottom? A minge is a bottom?
Liza: Not exactly ...
ANNIE PONDERS THIS.
Annie: Ohhh, I see! (BEAT.) Oh heck, I've told everyone I was on the minge. I told the milkman this morning. And the chiropodist.
Liza: I'm sure they'll have worked it out.
Annie: You didn't.
Liza: No, well -
Annie: I'll explain next time I see them.
Liza: Yes.
Annie: I'm always doing that.
Liza: What?
Annie: Getting my words muddled.
Liza: Oh?
Annie: Yes. Only last week I called that Graham Cameron a wanker.
Liza: Graham Cameron?
Annie: Him as wants to be Prime Minister.
Liza: You mean -
Annie: And our Maureen said "Auntie Annie, you can't call people wankers." And I said "He's an idiot. Of course I can call him a wanker."
Liza: And what did Maureen say?
Annie: She told me what a wanker was.
Liza (FAINTLY): Oh -
Annie: And, you know, I just couldn't visualise it.

Roll Credits

4 comments:

  1. Hmmm ...all these new words that've come into the dictionary since I was a gal....

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  2. I love your overheard conversations, Moptop. Winge with an 'm' was new to me, so thanks for that.
    A new emigrant to Calgary - a Scottish organist - was having tea with a local patron of the arts who thought he would be perfect for her grand-daughter. (Never mind that he was obviously gay)
    'She's got a lot of spunk, that girl,' Grandma twinkled, whilst the organist choked on his tea.

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  3. Oh, I just had a horrible feeling I've already related that little story here. Or was it somewhere else?? Can your next post be about mental dysfunction?? I'd like to find it laughable.

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  4. I've not heard that story before - and if I had, I probably wouldn't remember so you're in good company!

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