Tuesday, 20 April 2010

We want answers and we want them now!

Phooey to all these I said/you said/he said discussions. Trident-schmident! Tax-schmax! Volcanoes-schmolc -

I'll stop there: I'm making a point but it's giving me indigestion.

There are real, serious questions that not one single politician (of whatever persuasion) has been persuaded to answer. Questions that have been vexing large sections of the population for years. Me especially.

Should pineapple ever have a place on pizza?

Who invented the Bourbon Biscuit and have they done time for it?

Martine McCutcheon?

Why are Dave, Mick* and Gordon not engaging with the Issues of the Day? I blame Jeremey Paxman for letting them off lightly.

*Edit: Nick. The man in the yellow tie is called Nick.


  1. We once had an Italian student to stay. It took her quite a long time to get over the pineapple on the pizza thing. I get the feeling it wasn't what Mamma would have made.

  2. Would it surprise you to learn that Martine McCutcheon invented the Bourbon biscuit. It was originally designed with a chocolate dough base with a Jeremy Paxman topping. However, upon discovering that pineapples didn't perform well under studio lights, the BBC opted for what was deemed to be a mutually beneficial swap.

  3. Do you remember that advert in the 80's where the pregnant woman wanted a tuna fish and banana pizza? (I forget what it was an advert for - it wasn't tuna fish or bananas. I seem to remember her being up a ladder. Wallpaper? Insurance? Mental Health Charity?) Well, I tried one once - but it wasn't a patch on the chocolate and marshmallow pizza I had a few weeks ago. Bring on the pineapple. Yummy!

    Sorry - rambling - distracted by 'Restless Leg Specialist' on telly.

  4. I think I'll back out the door, and return when some semblance of sanity appears. I sense a dizzy spell coming on...

  5. Clearly the regular commentators and I are cut from the same jib - or should that be tree? Or, perhaps, fresh cream gateau?

    No! Of course, we are writers! We are on the same page. PAGE. And the man in the yellow tie is named NICK not MICK. NICK.

    (Biros NICK and PAGE on inside of wrist alongside previous aide memoires: buy milk, lop dog, take out injunction against Leonardo.)

    Jinksy - too late, too late. The bridge is up, you'll have to stay the night ...

  6. Wasn't she married to a politician once?? And what's a Bourbon biscuit?

    -An Interested Continental Observer

  7. This website has a definitive list of biscuits.


    A Bourbon Biscuit is a gravelly travesty that look as if it should taste of chocolate but in fact tastes of cheap ersatz cocoa. It is always a disappointment.

  8. No, no no, the only good ever to come of pineapple was the pineapple cube. Delicious razor-edged confection designed to make your tongue bleed for 6d a quarter.
    And as for Martine McCutcheon. Blight of Love Actually and love actually I dare say. Mick. Hahaha, he should change his name. Excellent definition of the Bourbon - Deborah - similar to oreos but oblong and brown filling. Interntional biscuit expert, me.

  9. I am SWOONING at the mention of the Pineapple Cube. Simply SWOONING.